HOW I DIDN’T KILL MY FATHER, AND HOW MUCH I REGRET IT It all started with a book in which Mateusz Pakuła documented, in a post facto manner yet in the form of a diary, the chronicle of his father’s dying. His profoundly moving account is an intimate confession of love, grief, and anger at the inability to alleviate the suffering of a dying man. One of Polish most thought-provoking playwrights and most original directors decided, rather than to close his study, to put it to the test of the stage. He transformed the narrative into a performance for five extraordinary actors, who gave it a new dimension, unexpected by many. Laughter with a lining of despair creeps into a narrative that spares us none of the most gruesome details. It acts as a safety valve making both the theatrical and life experience easier to endure. Pakuła’s uncompromising production pushes the boundaries, crying out for the right to euthanasia, cursing the hypocritical Polish society, and exposing the concealed self-satisfaction of the church hierarchy. The play has won numerous awards, including the Grand Prix of last year’s Divine Comedy Festival, The Competition for the Staging a Polish Contemporary Play and the Prize for the Performing ensemble at the Kalisz Theatre Arts Festival.
Pakuła’s production, like any outstanding work of art, is about everything. About death and dying, about love and anger at the world, about divisions among loved ones sitting at the same table, about Poland, which is what it is, and does not want to and will not be different. About a family that sometimes we would like to run away from, but in the end some insurmountable force draws us to it. […] Mateusz Pakuła says directly that he wants and demands that I Didn't Kill My Father and How Much I Regret It should become the beginning of a discussion about the admissibility of euthanasia, and finally open the door to an honest conversation on this subject. At some point, the dying father asks a question that still burns me with fire: Why can't I do it like a dog?
– Jacek WAKAR, JacekWakar.pl
How I Didn't Kill My Father and How Much I Regret It is a detailed account of dying in Poland. Extremely personal, individual and full of details that only his family can say about the departing father, and at the same time very universal, because it consists of elements well known to everyone who has struggled with a serious illness in our country, such as visits to hospitals and wards, palliative care, often involving not only fear and helplessness, but also humiliation, and ultimately seeking help outside an inefficient and unfriendly system. Fear for the patient, overcoming subsequent barriers in contact with the biological side of humanity, constant attempts to relieve pain and facing not only the prospect of death, but above all, the senseless agony of dying.
– Aneta KYZIOŁ, Polityka
The production, however, is not frightening. Negative feelings are overshadowed by its artistic form (...), delivery that does not rely on heartbreak and exaggeration (...) helps to avoid pathos, for example when [the son] describes how his father lovingly took his hands and only later they both noticed that they were soiled with his faeces. Also, the musical inputs provide an ironic commentary. (...)
Pakuła places his production in a strange, hybrid space, the back of which is made up of water slide tubes normally found in water parks. Only insiders know the reason: the production does not mention that the unfortunate protagonist of the play designed the water park as an architect. What remains is an object that, thanks to the darkness and the opalescent shapes projected on its surface, takes on a ghostly appearance: something between a giant intestine and a tunnel to the underworld. A round projection screen is inserted between the tubes and is used, for example, as a screen for a slide show of photos showing the father getting younger.
– Karel KRÁL, karel-kral.cz
MATEUSZ PAKUŁA (1983) writer, playwright, adaptator, theatre and radio director. A graduate of dramaturgy at the Department of Drama Directing at PWST in Krakow. He studied Polonistics (specialty: Cultural studies) at the Jagiellonian University and Philosophy at the University of Lodz. He made his debut as a prose writer with the book How I Didn't Kill My Father and How I Regret It, which was recognized as one of the most interesting books of 2021, received, among other awards, the Krakow UNESCO City of Literature Award and ArtRage Award, was also among the final five of the European Prix Grand Continent Award. The play based on How I Didn’t Kill My Father… in his adaptation and direction has won numerous awards, including the Grand Prix of last year’s Divine Comedy Festival, The Competition for Staging Contemporary Polish Plays, and the Prize for the Performing ensemble at the Kalisz Theatre Arts Festival. Apart from How I Didn't Kill My Father... he published six books with dramas. Moreover, his plays are regularly published in the monthly Dialog. They were translated into English, German, Czech, Spanish, Hungarian and Ukrainian.
ŁAŹNIA NOWA THEATRE The source and energy of the Łaźnia Nowa Theatre lies in Nowa Huta in Krakow. It is here, in the post-industrial halls of the former workshops of the Mechanical School Complex, that the idea of Bartosz Szydłowski and Małgorzata Szydłowska to create a common place for artists and residents of the district was realized. During the twenty years of its existence, Łaźnia Nowa has developed a solid brand on the Polish theatre market. It created, among others, the Divine Comedy International Theatre Festival, which has become the most important Polish theatre festival. It provides excellent working conditions for both world-famous directors and those who are just looking for their own theatrical language. Productions have been staged here by, among others, Michał Borczuch, Giovanny Castellanos, Katarzyna Kalwat, Marcin Liber, Krystian Lupa, Yana Ross, Wiktor Rubin, Monika Strzępka, Weronika Szczawińska, Marcin Wierzchowski, Ivan Vyrypaev and Michał Zadara. In the years 2005–2024, Łaźnia Nowa produced over a hundred productions, alone or in co-production with partners from all over Poland. Its productions are shown and awarded at numerous Polish theatre festivals, as well as abroad: e.g. in Berlin, Bucharest, Madrid, Mexico, New York and Singapore.
STEFAN ŻEROMSKI THEATRE in Kielce is the only professional drama theatre in the Świętokrzyskie Voivodeship, but its importance extends well beyond its home region. It is one of the oldest in Poland and the only one that has been housed in the same historic building throughout its entire existence. The theatre stages classic and contemporary texts directed by award-winning Polish directors such as Maja Kleczewska, Remigiusz Brzyk, Monika Strzępka and Paweł Demirski, Jolanta Janiczak and Wiktor Rubin, Radosław Rychcik, Mikołaj Grabowski, Krzysztof Rekowski, Dan Jemmett, Michał Siegoczyński and many others. On average, there are six premieres and around 230 productions each season.
